Finding yourself on a precipice can be lonely and frightening. Yet, many of us are blessed to have caregivers, family, and friends who step out on that metaphorical precipice with us. Some of us will also experience the reversal: a time when we venture out onto a precipice to support someone we hold dear. There is significant collateral damage involved with standing with someone “on the edge” and that vulnerability must be recognized and addressed. Caregivers may feel like they have some sort of harness keeping them safe, or they may realize that they are a little further from the edge so that if the ground starts crumbling below, they won’t take the actual tumble with their loved ones. Yet, caring about someone who is on a precipice is quite a risky venture.
Loved ones listen to us as we share our despair or fear or they recognize it on our faces or in our body language even when we try to convince them that we feel okay while standing on that ledge. Some caregivers can mask their own fear, convince themselves that they didn’t feel that tremor, and remain steadfast near that ledge. However, some are unable to venture any closer to the edge and instead retreat out of fear. Some desperately try to hold our hand, as if they can keep us from falling if the ground gives out. Some stand with us, knowing that they will have to claw their way out of the rubble when the ground gives way. Some still choose to build a life with us out there on that ledge knowing that they will be the ones to salvage what’s left and that they will be haunted by the beauty of the life that was built there and the future envisioned. If things crumble, how can they try to reconstruct some semblance of that structure piece by piece, realizing that it will never stand the way it did in the past?
The medical and mental health fields have made tremendous strides over the past decade recognizing the stresses associated with being a caregiver, and some popular resources are included on our Resource Page. However, addressing vulnerability is paramount to a deeper understanding of the mental health challenges caregivers face, their potential reluctance to accept help, and their ability to be present with their loved one. We can help you increase the strength of that tether so being out on that precipice feels a little less distressing.
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